When Psychotic Plot Bunnies Attack
by mabelreid
Summary: One Shot sequel to When worlds collide. Something terrible is happening to our favorite characters in the fan fic world. Only one author can stop it. Parody Features characters from CSI NY CM and HP


_A/n this is definetely not meant to be taken seriously. It is total parody with characters from CM and other parts of the fan fic world, but it takes place in the BAU. Perhaps it is the pain killers I am on, but hopefully someone out there will get a laugh from this nonsense. My thanks to my wonderful beta REIDFANATIC who puts up with my nuttiness. Thanks as well to KatKnits00 who introduced me to psychotic plot bunnies, and other types of bunnies you will meet in this story_

_Disclaimer: I own nothing from CM or any of the other universes involved in this story. No copyright infringement is intended._

I know that you think I make this stuff up, but I don't. How could I? It's too outrageous not to be true. The next chapter of my adventures in the world of Fan Fiction begins this way:

I was sleeping peacefully in my own bed, dreaming about little orange oompa loompas and a purple hedgehog named Chester. For some odd reason they wanted me to go swimming in a pool of raspberry jam with a pink elephant and a three legged Siamese cat. It was ridiculous. Everyone knows that cats hate to swim.

Anyway, I was trying to explain this to the hedgehog, when I heard a tapping sound from the door hanging in mid-air behind me. Strange, we were outside in the middle of a meadow, where could a door possibly lead. It was annoying and I couldn't carry on my conversation with Chester, so I ran to the door and opened it.

I woke up with a start after going through the door and falling into darkness black as infinity. I hate falling in my dreams, I never know if I'll survive the drop. Anyway… I woke up and turned over, breathing heavily and screamed at the sight in front of me when I fumbled the light on.

Three men stood in front of me. I had to blink my eyes and then rub them hard. It looked like Harry Potter, Danny Messer and Spencer Reid. I screamed again and pulled the bed clothes up to my chest.

"What are you doing here?"

As soon as the words left my mouth I couldn't believe I had asked the question. The muses had returned, which meant that trouble was soon to follow.

"Sorry Mabel, but we need you!" Danny said polishing his glass on his sleeve.

"Oh no, I'm not going anywhere with you guys. I'm human! I have to sleep sometime! I can't just get up and go to the computer every time you decide to bug me." I threw the covers back over my head and turned my back on them.

There was a tentative tapping on my shoulder. I ignored it. I was going to go back to sleep and pretend it was all a dream.

Someone else started tapping on my shoulder, this time a bit more insistent. "Damn it! I told you I wasn't going with you this time!" I turned over and realized I was yelling at Spencer. It's difficult to say who was blushing harder at this point.

"Mabel… I swear… if we didn't need you, we wouldn't be here." Harry said, looking at me as if I were a bomb about to go off.

"Yeah… like I haven't heard that one before," I mumbled, I was about to turn my back on them again when Spencer said.

"Ah… look Mabel, we have a big problem. There are psychotic plot bunnies lose in the fan fiction world. They are threatening to take over. You have to help us stop them!" His chocolate eyes were silently begging me and how was I going to say no to that face.

"What are you talking about? Plot bunnies aren't psychotic… mostly their just really annoying, but usually cute and cuddly." I retorted, while pushing my glasses onto my face.

"Well normally you'd be right, but these guys are crazy. They've already enslaved half the muses. Harry, Spencer and I barely got away with our personalities intact. Come on, ya gotta help us. I promise if ya do, that I'll stop being stubborn and help ya get over the writers block ya got with your latest story." Danny said all of this very fast. His was another face I couldn't say no to. Harry had opened his mouth to chime in but I waved him off.

I threw off the covers and stood up. "Okay… Okay you got me, just get out of here while I change."

"There's no time… we have to go back now!" Harry insisted, his green eyes pleading with me. Damn, he was way too cute for a seventeen year old. I kept telling myself to remember that he was jail bait. I grabbed my robe and put it on.

"Alright… let's get this over with shall we."

Harry tapped his wand on the bedroom door and when I opened it, the bull pen of the BAU lay on the other side instead of the hallway to the kitchen.

"Hey… how come you didn't do that the last time I was trapped here?" I asked indignantly.

"You didn't ask!" He said logically. I glared at him but he wasn't looking at me. The guys were pulling me into a broom closet.

"Hey… what's the big idea?"

"Shh… It's not safe!" Harry said. I think the last battle with Voldemort made him just a tiny bit paranoid.

"But…"

"Mabel… just look out the door," Danny said.

I heaved a big sigh and looked out through the crack in the door. Chaos reigned over the normally busy but organized bull pen. I heard a whimper next to me, and noticed that Spencer was white faced and shaking. He nudged me and I looked where his shaking finger pointed. The real Spencer Reid or the fictional character, not the muse (damn this was getting confusing) was in the process of getting mauled by dozens of girls and women. He looked like a famous rock star getting attacked by rabid fans.

"Damn it… I knew this would happen! I just didn't think it would be this soon." Danny explained as we watched Spencer Reid disappear under the screaming women.

It was awful to watch, but I had to secretly admit that I wished I were part of that group. The Spencer next to me suddenly fainted. Harry said to Danny "And you call me the drama queen!"

"Guys, I don't see any plot bunnies." I told them.

"That's because they're out causing problems, like letting the fan girls out of their locked room to attack characters like Spencer or me or the lab rat here." Harry explained. Danny smacked his shoulder and Harry pulled his wand.

"Alright you two, I get it, but what do you expect me to do about it."

"Here's the deal, the plot bunnies want to force all fan fiction writers to write stories for them anytime they have an idea. They don't care if you have to sleep, or eat, or even if you have a day job. They want to enslave the writers and the characters and make them do what ever they want… no matter how awful."

"What about the site administrators, can't they do anything to stop this?" I asked as I watched a couple of pink fuzzy bunnies hop into the room and drag Morgan away to a door marked slash.

Harry shuddered and I said "What was that all about."

"Well…that's the slash fic room!"

"Oh, poor guy… we have to help him!"

"We can't leave here, not till we get an escort from the ninja and military bunnies." Danny said. He'd finally revived Spencer. He was still white faced and shaking like a leaf, and he refused to look out the door.

'The ninja and military bunnies can't help us. There are too many of them." He told the other muses.

"Now is not the time to freak out Reid." Harry snapped. He was beginning to scare me a little. He looked like he was ready to leap out of the room and do battle with creatures that were ten times worse then Lord Voldemort.

I was dismayed to see Hotch, Gideon and JJ hauled away by more plot bunnies to the AU fic room. The noises coming from that room were too terrible to contemplate.

"Are we going to just stand here in this cramped little room or are we going to do something?" Harry demanded.

"Shut up… the ninja bunnies are here." Danny growled.

Danny opened the door and was greeted silently by more pink bunnies that were dressed in black ninja costumes. There was a military bunny in fatigues and camouflage paint on his face, with them and he began to whisper to Danny.

"Hey… what's going on?" I demanded, when they both look interestingly at me. I was getting a really bad feeling about where all of this was going.

"You're the only author left that hasn't been co-opted by the bunnies. We need you to write us out of this, just like you did before." Spencer explained.

"How do you propose that I do that? You yank me out of a weird but pleasant dream and bring me here. I don't have a computer, a typewriter, or even a pen and paper for God's sake! I was shouting and Harry was trying to get a hand over my mouth.

"Be quiet, they'll hear us and then that's it!" The military bunny hissed at me. The ninjas looked menacingly at me through their masks and I decided to shut up.

"Mabel look, the site administrators are being held hostage; there's nothing they can do to stop the bunnies. Now you gotta buck up and help us." Danny told me.

"Okay… I get it! I still don't know how I…" I trailed off and watched as the muses shut the door and Harry waved his wand. Lights came on and the room magically expanded. There was a computer to the right of the room and a fairly comfortable chair in front of the metal computer table.

Harry gestured to the table. I looked at Spencer and Danny and they both nodded. I sighed and went over to the computer and sat down in front of it. The black screen seemed to stare back at me like an accusation. There was never a time in my life that I felt less like writing a story. I sat there for a very long time until someone nudged me in the side. I looked up and saw Spencer looking at me with a very expectant look on his face. He handed me a pair of hideous and very familiar looking horn rimmed glasses.

"But…"

"Just relax and try not to think about what's going on out there." He pointed to the door of the broom closet.

"No pressure eh," I said faintly. "Look I know you're all trying to help… but for the love of all that's holy, could you stop staring at me!"

They all shuffled away to a corner with varying looks of chagrin on their faces. Harry began to absently play with his wand again, Spencer was red faced and staring at the far wall. Danny was the only one that looked calm. The military bunnies and ninja bunnies had taken up position on either side of the fake wooden door.

I turned on the computer and put Spencer's glasses in the pocket of my robe. Maybe they were magic like Mrs. Who's glasses in "A wrinkle in Time", or more likely I was desperate, because I felt a sudden inspiration of what I needed to do.

I have no idea how much time had passed. I think it works differently then in the real world. I had just finished the story when a military bunny entered the broom closet and said that the plot bunnies had returned to their normal, if annoying state. The bull pen of the BAU was back to its regular state and the characters had been rescued from terrible fates.

Everyone was cheering, and the next thing I knew I was back in my own bed not knowing how I had got there in the first place. I got up and turned on the light wondering if it were all a crazy dream, but then I felt something heavy in my left hand pocket. I reached a trembling hand into the pocket and pulled out Spencer's glasses. Maybe they really were magic. It seemed that the fan fiction world was back to normal… at least it's was normal for that universe. I put the glasses on my computer table and sat down to write. Who cares if it was three in the morning, I just had the best idea for a new story. Sleep could wait!


End file.
